The Filipino’s desire not to be rude stems from “hiya”, which literally means “embarrassment”.
No one—from whatever country you’re in—wants to be embarrassed, that’s a universal feeling. So it is not embarrassing a Filipino that you should be careful of, but what Filipino’s consider to be embarrassing.
It can be a tricky thing, since the Philippines is the most Westernized country in Southeast Asia. Their culture has been influenced by hundreds of years of Spanish colonization, and nearly four decades of American occupation.
On the surface, they’re a lot like Westerners, they dress the same way, watch the same TV shows, and speak English. They’re highly adaptable and are incredibly aware of Western culture. But underneath it all, they’re still very much Asian. In that, as much as they absolutely hate to offend, they are people that are very easily offended. And they won’t always tell you about it.
For example, assertiveness is heavily valued in the West, where we strive for independence. So we freely speak our minds, and can even be frank when talking to our employees.
Filipinos, like other Asians, find this rather rude. They are high content communicators, where the conversation is done in subtexts: body language, the tone of voice, and bouts of silence. While this little quirk may not have much bearing for a tourist, it is of extreme importance when it comes to work, especially when it comes to reprimanding.
If your boss finds your work lacking, or slow, they might say something like “Well, this was a dumb way to do it.” Or, “This is wrong. Do it again.” you won’t likely get offended. That’s his opinion, and considering that you’ve made a mistake, pretty fair.
What you’ll likely do is walk away a bit disappointed, do it again, and just move on from the whole incident. After all, it’s business.
Not quite for Filipino virtual employees, where everything can be personal. To say his work is dumb is a direct insult to his ego, and causes much personal embarrassment. And anything said in a terse manner is considered dismissive. While they may go back to their desk to do it again, it’s not something that’s easily forgotten. Even though they won’t say anything.
So does that mean you should completely change the way you are?
Of course not, that would be hard. It’s who you are, and quite frankly, who exactly is the boss here? Understanding the nuances of another culture takes years and even then, some Westerners never get it, myself included.
In each other’s eyes, how the other culture behaves might even be stupid. But it’s still important that you meet halfway. Which means: be polite.
In as much as Filipinos are polite in dealing with you, show them the same courtesy by being polite back:
- Avoid cursing, even as a joke.
- Do not be abrupt; it’s impolite and incredibly rude.
- Always support complaints with an explanation.
- Never criticize in public, or in front of co-workers.
- At the end of the day, it’s really all about respect. If you respect your workers, it’ll be easier for you to understand and accept cultural norms. Especially since they have worked hard to understand yours.
